It really is THAT bad. That’s why I’m going to spend a few minutes at 5:40 AM in my car in the parking lot at DaVita to type this out.

Spend an hour in a sauna. Then stick your head in a freezer for a half hour. This was dialysis for me this morning.

But I don’t believe for a second that this is how it needs to be. I am supposedly doing so well on dialysis…at least my labs say so. I can’t help but think I actually could be doing well on dialysis.

But not here. It’s never going to work here.

And when my blood pressure has dropped lower than usual, and my soaking head is freezing, and it’s a huge task to pack up my bedding and belongings, the tech could give me a couple of minutes before scrubbing down the machine that is inches from the bed. There is no room for me to do what I’m doing while she’s doing that. I think it’s common courtesy. But after almost 11 months here–holy sh*t, it’s been THAT long–I should not be and am not surprised.

I must record that THIS is not acceptable. I must figure out something else.