I’ll put a happy face (well, two happy faces) on a pessimistic post. My one strong lead for giving me a new kidney in 2010 is not going to pan out.

I have a non-blood relative who generously and painstakingly went through the required battery of tests of several months. There was reason for optimism late in 2009 when the tests up to that point revealed a decent match. I tried not to think about it too much, but there seemed to be a real possibility that I could have a new kidney in January or February. Then came the insurance mess. Fortunately, that was remedied. If subsequent tests went well, we could proceed with a transplant, perhaps early this summer.

But I learned on Friday that these recent tests did not go so well. Neither of my potential donor’s kidneys are going to be feasible for donation.

And so I am back at square one. Sort of. I am now two years into “the list” for Eastern and Central North Carolina, or the “Duke list”. The average wait for my blood type (B) to receive a kidney from a deceased person is 6-7 years.

Later this month, I’ll be headed to Carolinas Medical Center in Charlotte so I can be listed there as well. I am told that the wait is perhaps half the time of the Duke list.

In either event, my best case remains a kidney from a live donor. At this point, I don’t have any idea where that might come from.

Mom—I’m not going to put an ad on Craigslist. This blog is my ad, for better or worse, at least for now.

Any blood-type will do. If someone isn’t a B but is an O, great! I have a friend who needs an O, and he’s got a friend who’s a B. That’s a cross-match, and Duke will do that.

Anyway, I’m a terrible salesperson, particularly when it’s selling myself, whether it’s for dating or for a job. Why I’m worthy of any living person’s kidney, I cannot answer, and I won’t try to.