No, I am not having a good time. I don’t even know how to.

This a crude rendering of a post written on my iPhone at 2:17am—Pacific Time. Yes, I’m 2400 miles from home. I have my reasons for not disclosing my travels. My point in writing now is to declare that upon my return to my dodgy life back in NC on Tuesday, the status quo will be obliterated. I must make changes. I’m not sure what these changes will be, but they must come to fruition. My life must cease to feel like it is spinning around a drain. I’m not sure what good this vey awkward public pronouncement will do.

I need all the baggage to make itself scarce. I need to rise up all the crapitude I feel so much of the time. I must.

No comments please on Facebook. I’m venting to the world, yes, but I’ve got to figure this all out on my own.

Ps–missing one dialysis session will not kill me

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6 Comments for “No, I am not having a good time. I don’t even know how to.”

  • Phil says:

    Rock on, Toastie!

  • concerned friend says:

    Missing one tx won’t kill you for sure, but missing several treatments over a few mos time is just not a great idea. Period.

  • Toastie says:

    @concerned friend – I missed Saturday because no one from Davita had bothered to tell me Friday night’s session had been rescheduled to Saturday. I had locked in plans to visit family long before. They couldn’t accommodate me Saturday morning, so I did had to skip my 2nd in 3 sessions. I really don’t think it’s cool that Davita gives the patients a vote on when to schedule holiday sessions. If they had stuck to the schedule, I’d have gone according to the schedule.

  • friend says:

    I was alluding to that fact that you must have missed the tx on Dec 21st- per your blog. I stumbled across your website via twitter.

  • Toastie says:

    As long as I have some kidney function, I may opt to skip a treatment on the rare occasion that I have the chance for a brief vacation out of town. My doctor isn’t on my case about it, and I don’t really appreciate anyone else questioning it.

  • concerned friend says:

    fair enough. sorry- I was not trying to question your decisions.


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