There are a bunch of questions I ask myself when considering the suitability of a blog post. Am I…
[ ] Coming across as way too angry?
[ ] Revealing too much personal information?
[ ] Seeming to be one who just complains all the time?
[ ] Being way too…weird?
There are more, for certain, but if I can answer in the affirmative to any of the above, then it is probably a bad idea to post something. But I go ahead and post anyway.
You need to stop worrying about what other people think, someone said to me recently. But people think I must be lazy, that I don’t try very hard, that I’m not putting enough effort into bringing about changes that I’d like to see in my life. What people? I don’t think this. There are people… If there are people like this, you don’t really want them in your life, do you? Well, yeah, but I do…
I know this conversation sounds like something out of junior high. The problem is, I still don’t know how to fit in with the crowd, some twenty years later. I don’t care about “the” crowd; any crowd will do.
So, what is this, a meta-blogging post or a meta-life post or what? I’m not sure. I know I haven’t been blogging, and it’s been because I’ve felt so disconnected from everyone and everything, and I’ve felt like I cannot post anything without having this inner voice screaming how pointless it is.
I don’t know what’s worse–that people I know stumble upon this and think, “Wow, he’s really screwed up!” or that people I know stumbled upon this and don’t think anything.
I have to say that it sounds to me like you very much would like to be someone/something that you are not but at the same time are not willing to take even baby steps to reach the standards you have set for yourself. I believe it was Einstein who reminded us that doing the same things we have always done is extremely unlikely to produce different results (his wording was a bit different, but the punchline is the same). In my opinion, you reallly have two options. Either adjust yourself to meet your own standards, or adjust your standards to meet yourself.
This is perhaps one of the most brutal things someone could say to me, because I believe it to be wholly untrue, and yet I sound like a pathetic wallower if I dare try to refute it.
And I fear that everyone who knows me in the slightest agrees with the above.
And I fear that the above is true, in which case I am completely removed from reality and the glass is even emptier than I usually think it is.
ScienceDaily (2008-09-12) — Dialysis patients diagnosed with depression are nearly twice as likely to be hospitalized or die within a year than those who are not depressed, researchers have found.
What’s the difference between Governor Palin and President Bush? To his credit, George W. Bush actually knows what the Bush Doctrine is.
And if you think Charlie was being too tough on her, please remember she is being interviewed as a candidate for the Vice-Presidency of the United States and not as a candidate to win a college scholarship (and I do highly recommend that link).
Too many have the wrong idea of Americans as shallow, materialist consumers who care only about getting rich or getting ahead. But this isn’t the America I know.
Many ask, “What can I do to help in our fight?” The answer is simple. All of us can become a September the 11th volunteer by making a commitment to service in our own communities.
I call on all Americans to serve by bettering our communities and thereby defy and defeat the terrorists.
- George W. Bush, Atlanta, GA, 11-8-01
He worked as a community organizer. What? He worked — I said — I said — okay, okay. Maybe this is the first problem on the resume. He worked as a community organizer.
- Rudy Giuliani, 9/11 Super Hero, 2008 RNC Keynote Speaker
I guess a small town mayor is sort of like a community organizer — except that you have actual responsibilities.
- Sarah Palin, 24/7/365 Super Hero, 2008 GOP VP candidate
9/11 makes me think about how much George W. Bush f*cked up America. Bush-Cheney were the mythical 20th hijacker. They have wrung ever last bit of blood and pain out of 9/11 to justify sh*tting on the Constitution, fighting an unnecessary war, and lining the wallets of their cronies.
Four years of McCain/Palin will be like “getting hit” again. How dare I compare…. I dare, because Americans without adequate health insurance means needless pain, suffering, and death. Loose regulation of industry means needless pain, suffering, and death. A corporate-first attitude towards climate change means massive needless pain, suffering, and death at a global level, through droughts, famines, storms, and wars. A continuation of Bush economic policies means more people slipping into poverty and thus more crime and thus more needless pain, suffering, and death.
McCain/Palin…the GOP…they could succeed at protecting fetuses. Hip-hip-hooray…even in cases of rape, incest, and where a woman’s life is endangered, a fetus’s right to be born will be protected. AND THEN WHAT? The GOP doesn’t give a crap…pull yourself up by your own umbilical cord.
Someone at work printed out a “NOBAMA” logo. It was left in the copier room. It’s kinda clever.
I think I’ll come with a clever slogan for a bumper sticker as well. Maybe
Obama / Biden :
NO F*CKING WAY WE’RE GONNA HAVE 4 MORE YEARS OF THIS SH*T
Isn’t it better to talk about why you’re FOR something instead of why you’re AGAINST something else?
Fine
Obama / Biden :
THEY ARE A F*CKING CHANGE MACHINE!
you know what politics is/are like in the united states?
it’s like pop-music and/or dating.
example a: pop-music.
republicans are like ashley simpson, and democrats are like radiohead. radiohead fans will forever be mystified as to why someone would buy an ashley simpson cd, but ashley simpson’s handlers/managers understand what the lowest common denominator are looking for and they give it to them. radiohead fans think ‘that disposable pop music is terrible, and someday people will see the error of their ways and buy radiohead cd’s instead of ashley simpson cd’s’, meanwhile ashley simpson and her managers are selling millions of records.
example b: dating.
democrats are the bright, conscientious, responsible guy in the corner of the party and republicans are the loud, boastful, arrogant guy in the middle of the room. the bright guy in the corner thinks ‘that loud guy in the middle of the room is a jerk and eventually everyone will see him for what he is’, but the loud guy goes home with the hot girl and the bright guy in the corner goes home alone.
my point?
yes, radiohead are better than ashley simpson.
and yes, the bright, interesting guy in the corner is better than the loud jerk in the middle of the room. but ashley simpson and the loud jerk in the middle of the room know what people want, and that’s why they(and the republicans)are winning.
democrats are nuanced and complicated and republicans are simple and sound-bitey.
people want bright shiny simplicity, not dark obscure complexity.
the democrats put their trust in people’s better instincts whereas the republicans put their trust in people’s basest instincts.
and that’s why the republicans are winning, because they’re not governed by ideals, they’re governed by results. the republicans want to win no matter what, whereas the democrats want to win because the public will, hopefully, recognize the primacy of their ideas.
and that’s why democrats are the step-child party. that’s why democrats are the avis to the republicans hertz. that’s why democrats are the runners up. because the republicans know how to sell and they know how to win.
of course my hope is that the democrats will learn from the republicans and learn how to win.
but too often it seems that democrats take the ‘high road’ when the noble and effective thing would be to join the battle in the trenches.
republicans are dirty, and will stop at nothing to win. we saw in 2000 that when democrats take the ‘high road’ that they lose.
so that’s the choice, democrats: take the ‘high road’ and lose, or learn how to compete in the real world and run the risk of winning…
bill clinton did it, and he won.
al gore didn’t do it, and he lost.
i hope that john kerry learns from bill clinton…
It’s always a barrel of lemurs to look back at old protected journal entries…
August 31, 2004
All of the anxiety over whether I’d ever get a raise, all of the rants about the noise, all of the frustration over a job I couldn’t stand 80% of the time…it’s all over. It’s all over, because I’ve been laid off. Investment money has not come in. The cash flow situation is dire. I was expendable.
The good news…yes, there is good news, although everything is just a numb, surreal mess in my mind at the moment, is that I will get two weeks of severance pay, so I have two weeks to look for a job while still getting paid (although I’m pretty much broke until next pay check already). And T is going to use his contacts to help me find a Remedy contract gig, as much I can’t conjure much enthusiasm for a Remedy contract gig. Within DAYS or a week or two, I could find myself off in another city for three months or six months or indefinitely, cats in tow, any notions of stability here in NC shattered. And that’s almost a BEST case scenario. Worst case, I find nothing and start working at low-paying jobs to scrape by.
Good times, huh? I’ve got a few thousand more stories to share. I’ll spare the world them for now, although it is closing on the timeframe to restart up the toastie97 site (15th anniversary celebration, after all…)
