I’ll never have one of those “Coexist” bumper stickers, because there are some beliefs I just do not believe should be allowed to exist. Fort Mill, SC mayor Danny Funderburk has been forwarding around a chain letter claiming that Barack Obama is the antichrist. I’ve been to Fort Mill; I had to do some work there a few years back. There’s not much of note besides fireworks and lottery ticket stores and other crap that visitors to Carowinds might enjoy. It’s like a shitty version South of the Border. Anyway, now Fort Mill can lay claim to having the most shit-for-brains mayor in the continental United States. (Sorry, Alaska, but I now have to assume that you’re the flat-out dumbest state in the nation).

To be fair, Funderburk doesn’t claim to know one way or another of Obama is truly the antichrist. “I’ve got absolutely no way of knowing that.”

Mayor Funderburk, I think I will send you my own chain email. Did you know my dog is actually Jesus Christ incarnate? I have absolutely no way of knowing for sure, but I think it’s worth examining scripture to see if it’s a possibility.