There are a bunch of questions I ask myself when considering the suitability of a blog post. Am I…

[ ] Coming across as way too angry?

[ ] Revealing too much personal information?

[ ] Seeming to be one who just complains all the time?

[ ] Being way too…weird?

There are more, for certain, but if I can answer in the affirmative to any of the above, then it is probably a bad idea to post something. But I go ahead and post anyway.

You need to stop worrying about what other people think, someone said to me recently. But people think I must be lazy, that I don’t try very hard, that I’m not putting enough effort into bringing about changes that I’d like to see in my life. What people? I don’t think this. There are people… If there are people like this, you don’t really want them in your life, do you? Well, yeah, but I do…

I know this conversation sounds like something out of junior high. The problem is, I still don’t know how to fit in with the crowd, some twenty years later. I don’t care about “the” crowd; any crowd will do.

So, what is this, a meta-blogging post or a meta-life post or what? I’m not sure. I know I haven’t been blogging, and it’s been because I’ve felt so disconnected from everyone and everything, and I’ve felt like I cannot post anything without having this inner voice screaming how pointless it is.

I don’t know what’s worse–that people I know stumble upon this and think, “Wow, he’s really screwed up!” or that people I know stumbled upon this and don’t think anything.