..if only they’d make one for me at the times I’ve chosen to check them out.

A few months ago, I went there with a group during dinner time. We weren’t aware that sandwiches and “bar food” were not available during dinner hours, just $20 soups and other assorted finer fare. We headed to Alivia’s “sister”-restaurant Federal.

Today, a friend and I decided to give Alivia’s a try for lunch. Alas, only the brunch menu is available between 10 and 3 on weekends. I suppose I could’ve gotten an oyster po’ boy; my friend got it, and it looked good. I could’ve gotten some challah french toast; that probably would’ve been good. The burger sounded good, but I won’t be eating burgers anymore (more on that some other time). I do love smoked salmon, so I ordered that.

Smoked salmon…with capers, pickled red onions, some sort of pickled peppers, some sort of fraiche…oh, heck, I’ll check their online brunch menu. (See, I’m being critical, but I’m actually giving free advertising to you guys at Alivia’s). Tarragon Creme Fraiche. (I don’t feel like figuring out how to make accent marks, simpleminded American that I am). And toast points. (toastie points for Toastie! Yes, very amusing, I know). So the toast points are these tiny bland crackers. Maybe a more sophisticated patron would know that. I was imagining toasted pita wedges.

Anyway, the only thing I liked was the smoked salmon, but that’s not a food you eat by itself. It needs some friggin’ cream cheese and maybe a bagel. I was clearly at the wrong place for that, though. (I could stop by for breakfast and get that, I suppose).

So Alivia’s is what it is. It’s frou-frou food for those who like frou-frou food. And I just don’t appreciate frou-frou food. I prefer the nachos at Federal.

So I don’t blame Alivia’s for the food I didn’t like. I blame for waiting five minutes to get a table when they weren’t busy. I blame theme for having an unfriendly hostess who seemed to intonate in her “we’re only serving brunch” introduction that two guys wearing t-shirts wouldn’t appreciate their fine frou-frou bunch. (Maybe she was right, but it was still rude). I blame them for inadequate service once we were seated.

So will I return a third time to try a sandwich during whatever times of the day and week they actually serve sandwiches?

Yeah, I will. And may even come back a fourth time for dinner, because some of the frou-frou stuff really does sound good…

All I ask of the folks at Alivia’s is that they actually treat me as a valued patron. If your goal is to be as pretentious as those places around Five Points in Raleigh, I might come back a third or fourth time to try the food, but there probably won’t be a fifth.