Why do most people only care that kids don’t have toys around Christmas?
Why do most people only want to feed the hungry around Christmas?
Why do most people only socialize with all of their workplace colleagues around Christmas?
Why do most people only send cards expressing well wishes to all of their friends around Christmas?

Someone ought to make a movie in which, for some sinister reason*, there is no Christmas, but humanity is so much better off for it, because people realize that all of the positive things that happen at Christmas (ok, maybe not socializing with your coworkers) could actually happen anytime, that they didn’t need Christmas to bring out the best in themselves. (The sequel will deal with everyone renouncing their faith).

*Some potential sinister reasons:
- Santa’s sleigh finally obeys the laws of physics and is obliterated, along with sleigh, reindeer, and gifts, upon take-off from the North Pole.
- Some of Santa’s lewd IM’s to children who have been naughty are discovered.
- Santa’s pre-Christmas goodwill mission to China is marred when Chinese officials mistake Santa’s reindeer for dogs and kill them.
- Global warming melts the North Pole. Santa, Mrs. Klaus, all of the reindeer, and most of the elves drown. The two surviving elves escape the devastation, only to be eaten by starving polar bears. Despite the elf flesh and endless supply of Coca-Cola, the polar bears still starve to death, which has seemingly nothing to do with the story, but results in a massive campaign by Coca-Cola to reverse global warming and genetically engineer a new species of polar bear. (In the third installment of the trilogy, the new polar bears are viewed by some as a sign that Jesus is returning, resulting in a global war between the Polar Bear Christians and the Antitheists).

This blog entry is an improper use of my organization’s internet capabilities. Therefore, I shall end this post and head home…