I dropped Zellouisa off at the Morrisville Cat Hospital this morning. She’s needed a vet visit for awhile. I’ve been a very bad parent. I’ve always talked about my cats as if they’re children, but if I did to a child what I did to Zellouisa, I’d lose custody of her. I stopped giving her insulin injections about six months ago. For over a year, I made sure she got her shot everyday. While I was traveling for work during the week, I paid the cat-sitters to insure she never missed a day. When I was back home for good, I continued giving her shots. Then from time-to-time, I’d miss a day here or there. Then, with more frequency, Zellouisa would hide under the bed when she sensed I was going to the refrigerator for the insulin. She’s miss more days. Then, the Target pharmacy I’d get her needles from didn’t have the right ones in stock. So Zellouisa missed a few days. I’d keep forgetting to check back to see if the needles were in. A week passed, and then another week passed. And then a month passed. No signs of any health problems with Zellouisa. I figured I ought to check with the vet to see if I should start up with the same dosage again or bring her in to get her checked out. But I kept putting that off. I’d wait until pay-day at the end of a month. No, I’ll do it next month. And March turned into April which turned into May. No health problems apparent, still, but I know that untreated diabetes can lead to kidney failure and other problems. Finally, I made an appointment for her. But I didn’t call her last vet, Glenwood Veterinary. They hadn’t done anything wrong, but I kind of wish they’d have at least written or called to say, “Hey, we know Zellouisa has diabetes, and it’s been six months since she last had her fructosamine checked”. It’s not fair to blame them for my negligence, but I didn’t feel comfortable going back to them. So I found Morrisville Cat Hospital on the web, and I liked that it had just one practitioner and only treated cats.

I was nervous about admitting to the veterinarian that I had stopped the insulin. I spoke with her this morning when I dropped Zellouisa off. Each time I started to say, “I know I should have…” she’d interrupt to say, “It’s ok, don’t worry about it.” I really wanted to communicate that I’m not a bad pet owner, that I’m not one of “those people” who claim they love animals but then do irresponsible things to harm them. But I suppose I am. Or I was. I brought Zellouisa in today to get her back on track. Whatever she needs done, I’ll get it done for her. Unfortunately, that will mean spending about $250 today, which covers both a fructosamine check and a whole battery of blood work that they do for all “geriatric” cats.

So, there’s my confession. I can only hope Zellouisa is ok. I hated having to leave her at the vet. I haven’t left Aremid or Zellouisa at the vet for a whole day in many years. I usually bring them in on a Saturday and stay with them during their exams.