Experts: Petroleum May Be Nearing Peak

I’m so glad President Bush and the United States have taken the lead on developing alternative forms of energy! Oh, wait, that comes later, after fixing…er, dismantling Social Security, and turning the country into a theocracy and making Bush’s oil buddies some cash before the wells dry up.

If you’re getting under 20mpg and don’t have at least five kids or have a business that requires you to have such a vehicle, I will feel zero pity for you when gas hits $2.50 or $3 or $4 or $5 a gallon…okay, maybe there will be exceptions. If you have a W in ’04 sticker, definitely no pity.